Sunday, April 13, 2008

What's that #1 Birthday Month??

Yes indeed. Birthdays are celebrated everyday. Except for Jehovah's Witnesses but anywho. We always look at the special day that we were born. But we often forget the day of Conception. Keep in mind, some of yall were "pre-mee's" (premature babies). We not gonna talk about ya' mamma crack addiction but we just gonna assume yall were full term babies. Remember, the formula is "Birthday month - 9 months = conception month"

JANUARY - January babies were conceived in April of the prior year. So what was mom and dad doing when yall January babies were conceived? Momma got that income tax check back and they went to Atlantic City. You mighta been BORN in your state but you sho' nuff wasnt conceived there.

FEBRUARY - February babies were conceived in May of the prior year. It was just getting hot. Some of yall parents had just graduated from college. Some of yall parents was at the prom. Some of yall mommas was just tryna show them legs off at lunchtime and daddy came by and they did something nasty during the day. Now you can figure as a February baby which scenerio brought you here. If yo momma is only 17 years older than you, it's the prom. If she bout 22-23 years older, she had you as a graduation gift. If yo' momma is 30-35 years older than you, she was entering her last summer where she could really wear them summer dresses and pops caught her or at least met her at lunch

MARCH - March babies were conceived in June of the prior year. Un hmmmm. It's hot and what happens at Virginia Beach.......stays in Virginia Beach except for YO' LIL BUTT. Yall march babies are right there on, or close after Memorial Day into June. It's hot, nasty and sweaty in June.

APRIL - April babies were conceived in July of the prior year. I think April babies have he highest chance of having brain damage. Momma and daddy out there dumb drunk listening to Millie Jackson and Donna Summer late night during the 4th of July weekend. They in the alley line stepping. April babies are wild because your daddy MIGHT not be yo' daddy. It coulda been some drunk "switchin" going on. Your uncle could be yo daddy. You know everybody break up and be mad around July.

MAY - May babies were conceived during August of the prior year. See yo' momma is a sneak freak. She got pregnant in August.......then in December she showing. We know what she been doin' in the summers of past. Till you came along, of course.

JUNE - June babies were conceived in September of the prior year. One thing for sure, if you were conceived in September, it wasn't on a SUNDAY. Men too busy watching football and the women too busy being mad cause they aint getting no attention. School is back in effect during that time too. So if your older siblings were in school, they were in the bed early during that time. (ever notice how your parents make you go to bed early in september for school the next day but the rest of the year you go whenever? maybe it was just me)........

JULY - July babies were conceived in October of the prior year. Nice and cold. July babies were made from Love.....not Lust. You gotta cuddle in that cold air. Aint no up and leaving.

AUGUST - August babies were conceived in November of the prior year. I dont know if it was her Halloween outfit that had daddy in the mood or that good thanksgiving meal. Who knows? November is a happy time for most folks.

SEPTEMBER - September babies were conceived in December of the prior year. Feliz Navidad. All I can is..... ya mother got more than a sweater for Christmas.

OCTOBER - October babies were conceived in January. I call yall "parking lot babies". That's what yall are, "parking lot babies". See in January you sit out in the car and contemplate the next 12 months. You out on your date. Yall talkin. And he's saying ALL the right things. So why go home. Do it RIGHT there. And PLUS its a long weekend cause its "Martin Luther THE KING" weekend TOO........and yall just leave Mr. Ray's cabaret TOO!! Shoot........its ON in this Buick!

NOVEMBER - November babies were conceived in February. Is it HARD to tell. FEBRUARY people! You know this topic was created because I realized that I have ran into ALOT of November babies recently. More than any other month. And I realized, February is the month when Valentine's Day is celebrated in. Now alot of yall November babies running around here gotta realize.........Love was in the air when you were born. Love and Marijuana and stank alcohol. Yes sir. I can see it now. The year was 1978. Yo daddy was driving a Oldsmobile. Headed over to the Motel to see yo momma. She is just arriving. She checks in. All she has is a plastic bag with her lingerie and an extra pair of drawls. And dad is on his way over with no change of clothes and a bottle of remy. Your mother is "freshening up" and letting her bottle of "Andre" rest on a bucket of ice. She comes out and lays on the bed. Your father walks in, stumblin a bit. Momma is sitting there eatin' some Katydids and then daddy walks in and there is no convo. "Burn it up" and leave is his motive. They get it in on "ValemTIMES" and that's how you got here. Put two fingers in the air for that low budget lingerie, remy martin, Andre and katydids.....oh yeah Days Inn too for making this life of your possible.

DECEMBER - December babies were conceived in March. December babies are probably the most "planned" pregancies. There aren't many big events in March that would be under some influence of lust, holiday celebration and or substance. Put then again its hard to plan having a baby in March that would be due in Christmas when December is usually when the most money is spent at one time. Who knows. We can figure em all out. We got 11 of the 12. That's pretty good.

This post actually comes from one of my other contributors on Too Hood 4 Hollywood, Salvador Gabor. This is a post from his old blog he started back in 04(That's right, 04, we started this black blogging shit lol), The Salvador Gabor Project. But unfortunately like Salvador has seem to do Too Hood he abandoned his blog about 2 years ago!! He let the blog go too early so I am going to bless you guys that never had a chance to read his work with a few posts!! Hopefully this will motivate him to start postin on Too Hood again *hint hint*


Bunk Dinkins said...

lol, nothing on Leap Year Lust. May have to congynamate that myself.

Uptown Folife said...

This is a good Post by Salvador Gabor. I was a faithful reader of his blog its to bad he doesn't still write. I hope to see more of his work on here. P.S. I was born in April. I yeah I am crazy. LMCAO! Bunk you are a fool.