14 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex with Men

1. Assuming he wants to be kissed. Baby if we just met in the bar and now we are in the alley, best believe there is no kissing.
2. Not giving the panties on or panties off option. Pulling them to the side can be just as erotic.
3. Playing Jaws around the submarine. There is no need to bob around p-p if you aint fittin' ucksay.
4. Running straight from the toilet and trying to set the mood. You best carry that arse to the shower.
5. Acting like you don't want to do it, but mainly running your mouth.
6. Answering your phone during and/or after undressing. You know you can talk with your mouth full, hookers can't even do it.
7. Thinking queefing is cute, granted we men might be laughing on the inside, but dont you think it is cute because it aint.
8. Trying to sneak a fart in between queefs. "It was so good I didn't want to stop." aint a good enough reason.
9. Asking for a warning when you know you are going to put in work on the microphone. If you down there past 12minutts, get a bib.
10. Balls are not extras not even supporting actors, if they aint bothering you, dont bother them.
11. Stop complaining about the noise level because your friend is in the other room. You brought her, either bring her in here, or send her to the car.
12. Releasing a queef all the way, just let it ease out in spurts. We didn't come over there for the Whoopie-Cushion Monologues.
13. Looking for Romance after 3am. You called me after you left the club, and lock that bottom lock when you leave.
14. Looking at me while you are sassifying your oral fixation. This is where I pull my shirt out, enjoy that foggy cotton will ya.