Tuesday, March 17, 2009

5 Fashion Tips for Big Girls

Tip #5 for a Big Girl: Only expose your neck line if it hasnt begun to turn leathery. If your neck begets that leathery appearance best believe the rest of us are probably smelling bacon too.

Tip #4 for a Big Girl: If you are going to walk in high heels, don't shuffle. The appearance of a Sherman tank in satin, isn't sexy, not even for an ex-marine.

Tip #3 for a Big Girl: Find stylish sweat-outfits. Don't cram your body into tight jeans and tops. Find nice men's tshirts to wear as the weather breaks. Ventilate your bigness, it will prevent the bacony smell.

Tip #2 for a Big(Curvy) Girl: When wearing tight clothes, be aware of the signals you are sending to the 40 and over male & lesbian population. Don't wear the jeans too tight though, dark inner thighs aren't in in any season.

Tip #1 for a Big Girl: You cannot just wear a cammy under that! Put a bra on! Just because your bossom isnt fluffy, nobody wants to see elephant ears in Sears, ya dig.

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