This Sprite Ad was Banned!

WOW!! LMFAO They get real OC overseas!! Check inside for the banned Sprite Ad!! It's def NSFW!!

Wanda Sykes @ The White House Correspondant Dinner

Awww man she really went in!

How do you feel about Jury Duty

Well check out how Montana resident, Erik Slye, feels about it!!

Seen at The Life Files

If you can't read it check inside for a better breakdown

"Apparently you morons didn't understand me the 1st time. I CANNOT Take time off of work. I'm not putting my family's well being at stake to participate in this crap. I don't believe in our "justice system" and I don't want to have a goddamn thing to do with it. Jury duty is a complete waste of time. I would rather count the wrinkles on my dog's balls than to sit on a jury. Get it through your thick skulls! Leave me the fuck alone"

Men's Betterment Spring Classes

Men's Trealization Classes
This umbligatory schedule of classes truly directed towards men and their needs, especially when pondering potential coupling on a permanent state.
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY Thursday, April 30, 2007
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS,
CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8-15 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.
Classes begin Monday, January 19, 2008
Class 1: How to Hide your Beer, from your friends and from your lady.
Meets most Saturdays over Craig's

Class 2
Be Careful, I left it Up.
Round Table Discussion: Let's those us know who are late night pissers to give your woman a shout from the bed that "hey that toilet seat is up so dont go backing in butt first."
Meets tomorrow, webcast is available during halftime of the 1st playoff game.

Class 3
Did you leave the seat up? I think I peed on the wall, oops that is you.
Tutorial: One on one session designed for the guy who walks to the bathroom with his eyes closed and generally pees that way. Check to make sure she's not on the pot before your broth the soup bowl.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 15mins. Models needed

Class 4
White Tshirts dont go in hot water.
Counseling: How to nicely address this laundromaticall disaster with your woman. Your future teenage boy will thank you later
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for somewhere before the 2nd quarter ends.

Class 5
Dirty Dishes, Dirty Grills
Seminar: She blames you for dishes, but doesnt want to help clean the grill. Yes, she loves the ribs too.
Meets 4 mins, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:26PM.

Class 6
Keeping a spare remote
Demo: Definitely not a problem for the DirectTv users. You never know when your lady will move the primary remote, and if she's asleep,laying on the remote and left Lifetime on, you must take matters into your own manos.
Meets Friday before Happy Hour, refresher course is Saturday before you play ball.

Class 7
Trick or Treat, Sexual Halloween Happens All-Year
Seminar: You guys are beginning dating and intimacy isnt as frequent as you would like, but going out to eat is all too frequent. Learn some tips to hold your ground and see more of her, before you feed more to her.
Monday at 7:00 PM, 2 hours except during football season, Wednesdays at 7:00 PM

Class 8
Bringing Flowers and Seeing Panties.
Demo: Many men believe that giving flowers will surely get them a peek at some panties, but they are hoping they are the same panties from yesterday. Get advice on how to get your lady in the shower before you pay that Hispanic for them flowers.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 25 minutes

Class 9
Give Direction When needed.
Round Table: How to nicely get your woman to vacuum in another spot, I mean the game is on.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10
What if her mom is hotter
Round Table: Tips to discreetly date and or if nothing else watch her mother change clothes at night.
4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Leggo My Eggo
Demo: She didnt start liking it until you introduced it, now she wants chicken chilli dogs all the time. How to get your lady to order her own.
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, carry-out to be determined.

Class 12
Location Realization
Exercise: How to find the nearest store/arcade to help you with long days at the mall. What we like to compare to pre-adolescent trips to the arcade.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 whole hours! Beginning at 7:00 PM. Probably at Iverson Mall

Old School Rap Riddle of the Day

What is cross-eyed, speaks polite, all the while ready
for a knife-fight, holding the flashlight looking for
Big Mike?

Post your answers in the comments, winner gets a prize.


Since nobody won, Eye guess your eye wasn't on the prize.



















span

5 Fashion Tips for Big Girls

Tip #5 for a Big Girl: Only expose your neck line if it hasnt begun to turn leathery. If your neck begets that leathery appearance best believe the rest of us are probably smelling bacon too.

Tip #4 for a Big Girl: If you are going to walk in high heels, don't shuffle. The appearance of a Sherman tank in satin, isn't sexy, not even for an ex-marine.

Tip #3 for a Big Girl: Find stylish sweat-outfits. Don't cram your body into tight jeans and tops. Find nice men's tshirts to wear as the weather breaks. Ventilate your bigness, it will prevent the bacony smell.

Tip #2 for a Big(Curvy) Girl: When wearing tight clothes, be aware of the signals you are sending to the 40 and over male & lesbian population. Don't wear the jeans too tight though, dark inner thighs aren't in in any season.

Tip #1 for a Big Girl: You cannot just wear a cammy under that! Put a bra on! Just because your bossom isnt fluffy, nobody wants to see elephant ears in Sears, ya dig.

Lil Duval throws his shoe @ George Bush

Lil Duval has been doing mini video blogs called Nigga Please. #3 is above.
"Damn this nigga quick" LMBAO Check the previous "Nigga Please" episodes inside

Episode 2


Episode 1

Lil Wayne's "A Milli" from the webcam

Wait for the cuss.

MoRye Careee is back again

How does this guy get in the booth everytime?

MORE TK! “WHATEVER YOU LIKE”

Showed you this dude doing the Mariah joint, now he's back doing T.I. LMAO Did he say nigga?? LMAO

Checkout the Urban Grasshopper

There is a pinch of hop-scotch in this segment too.

"Touch My Body" by MoRye Careee

And your man is in the booth.

Wait on the "Hunt you down" part, it is priceless.

Holiday Cooking

So the holiday season is here. Many of us are entering the age that may require us to be responsible for a dish come holiday time. Some of us are only on bread detail, which is fine, just do your part and buy some good rolls. Don't show up with some Wonder rolls and think it is sweet, but if you do, make sure you bring some honey butter.

This being said, some parents are instructing their children on how to cook. This is a great thing to do, and I commend you on this. However, jackdammit dont let Little Tunnigan's first public meal be the Thanksgiving mac and cheese. Have him try it out on a Sunday first, make sure it is proper before toting it to Aunt Magnus' on thanksgiving. Mac N Cheese chefs should not look like this in 2009.



Be Well.

There's a black man in the elevator

Checking out The Life Files and saw this very funny but true video! Why do they do that? Why? lol

Personals

Stuffanie Davis aka Big Stuff aka Strawberry Egg Nogg is looking for love. This aspiring virgo has a love for theatre, fashion, and talking on the phone. She's been single for 8 months, since her ex-lover Luwayne saw her practice kissing during rehearsal for "I Threw Mamma Downstairs". Stuffanie is available for dinner after her full-body hot cocoa massage.

Suge Knight's knocked out!!

Shout out to TMZ for providing pics of Suge Knight knocked out!! Got to check one of them other sites for the story because I don't care enough to write about it but I am laughing my ass off at my desk!!! LMAO I've been waiting for this so that maybe some of them rappers will get som balls to stand up to this nigga. That must have been a mean hook!! Them big dudes always got soft jaws anyway!! They live off intimidation! LMAO This is hilarious

Wet Wicked Wednesday's @ the Tropic's

For those with no plans tonight, come on down to the Tropic's tonight and see Big Keith & The Blood Pressure Band at the Tropic's located at 12th and J Streets NW. For the working crowd the part starts around 7, just in time for happy hour. The band is scheduled to play until the Lakers game comes on. Big Keith can then be seen at the Skylark enjoying the game, but The Blood Pressure Band should still be playing some of Sugar Bear's unknown hits until midnight.

Change of Seasonings

As we begin April on the cusp of spring, the change of seasonings has many things to bring. Beware because some of this stuff is just plain.....shitty.

Dress shorts: Ladies I know these things look cute in the magazine, and I noticed some of these in a courdoroy form earlier in the winter. However, in person, you look like you either going to get real drunk, or like you got tossed up this morning.

New smokers: Some of yall picked up smoking over the winter, and have yet to show most of the world how you handle a Newport. Grandma will be surprised come Memorial Day when you kiss her smelling like soot.

New hairstyles: Ladies I dont mean that new cut you tried because MJB had her hair like that at the concert. I'm talking about that new mustache you grew over the winter. Nobody really noticed it because of daylight savings time, and that club light kinda hid it. As we approach cookout season, and the sun is shining, you are wondering how your club name went from Trenyce to Vester.


Dingleberries are not fruit, butt may have been at one time.

What's that #1 Birthday Month??

Yes indeed. Birthdays are celebrated everyday. Except for Jehovah's Witnesses but anywho. We always look at the special day that we were born. But we often forget the day of Conception. Keep in mind, some of yall were "pre-mee's" (premature babies). We not gonna talk about ya' mamma crack addiction but we just gonna assume yall were full term babies. Remember, the formula is "Birthday month - 9 months = conception month"

JANUARY - January babies were conceived in April of the prior year. So what was mom and dad doing when yall January babies were conceived? Momma got that income tax check back and they went to Atlantic City. You mighta been BORN in your state but you sho' nuff wasnt conceived there.

FEBRUARY - February babies were conceived in May of the prior year. It was just getting hot. Some of yall parents had just graduated from college. Some of yall parents was at the prom. Some of yall mommas was just tryna show them legs off at lunchtime and daddy came by and they did something nasty during the day. Now you can figure as a February baby which scenerio brought you here. If yo momma is only 17 years older than you, it's the prom. If she bout 22-23 years older, she had you as a graduation gift. If yo' momma is 30-35 years older than you, she was entering her last summer where she could really wear them summer dresses and pops caught her or at least met her at lunch

MARCH - March babies were conceived in June of the prior year. Un hmmmm. It's hot and what happens at Virginia Beach.......stays in Virginia Beach except for YO' LIL BUTT. Yall march babies are right there on, or close after Memorial Day into June. It's hot, nasty and sweaty in June.

APRIL - April babies were conceived in July of the prior year. I think April babies have he highest chance of having brain damage. Momma and daddy out there dumb drunk listening to Millie Jackson and Donna Summer late night during the 4th of July weekend. They in the alley line stepping. April babies are wild because your daddy MIGHT not be yo' daddy. It coulda been some drunk "switchin" going on. Your uncle could be yo daddy. You know everybody break up and be mad around July.

MAY - May babies were conceived during August of the prior year. See yo' momma is a sneak freak. She got pregnant in August.......then in December she showing. We know what she been doin' in the summers of past. Till you came along, of course.

JUNE - June babies were conceived in September of the prior year. One thing for sure, if you were conceived in September, it wasn't on a SUNDAY. Men too busy watching football and the women too busy being mad cause they aint getting no attention. School is back in effect during that time too. So if your older siblings were in school, they were in the bed early during that time. (ever notice how your parents make you go to bed early in september for school the next day but the rest of the year you go whenever? maybe it was just me)........

JULY - July babies were conceived in October of the prior year. Nice and cold. July babies were made from Love.....not Lust. You gotta cuddle in that cold air. Aint no up and leaving.

AUGUST - August babies were conceived in November of the prior year. I dont know if it was her Halloween outfit that had daddy in the mood or that good thanksgiving meal. Who knows? November is a happy time for most folks.

SEPTEMBER - September babies were conceived in December of the prior year. Feliz Navidad. All I can is..... ya mother got more than a sweater for Christmas.

OCTOBER - October babies were conceived in January. I call yall "parking lot babies". That's what yall are, "parking lot babies". See in January you sit out in the car and contemplate the next 12 months. You out on your date. Yall talkin. And he's saying ALL the right things. So why go home. Do it RIGHT there. And PLUS its a long weekend cause its "Martin Luther THE KING" weekend TOO........and yall just leave Mr. Ray's cabaret TOO!! Shoot........its ON in this Buick!

NOVEMBER - November babies were conceived in February. Is it HARD to tell. FEBRUARY people! You know this topic was created because I realized that I have ran into ALOT of November babies recently. More than any other month. And I realized, February is the month when Valentine's Day is celebrated in. Now alot of yall November babies running around here gotta realize.........Love was in the air when you were born. Love and Marijuana and stank alcohol. Yes sir. I can see it now. The year was 1978. Yo daddy was driving a Oldsmobile. Headed over to the Motel to see yo momma. She is just arriving. She checks in. All she has is a plastic bag with her lingerie and an extra pair of drawls. And dad is on his way over with no change of clothes and a bottle of remy. Your mother is "freshening up" and letting her bottle of "Andre" rest on a bucket of ice. She comes out and lays on the bed. Your father walks in, stumblin a bit. Momma is sitting there eatin' some Katydids and then daddy walks in and there is no convo. "Burn it up" and leave is his motive. They get it in on "ValemTIMES" and that's how you got here. Put two fingers in the air for that low budget lingerie, remy martin, Andre and katydids.....oh yeah Days Inn too for making this life of your possible.

DECEMBER - December babies were conceived in March. December babies are probably the most "planned" pregancies. There aren't many big events in March that would be under some influence of lust, holiday celebration and or substance. Put then again its hard to plan having a baby in March that would be due in Christmas when December is usually when the most money is spent at one time. Who knows. We can figure em all out. We got 11 of the 12. That's pretty good.

This post actually comes from one of my other contributors on Too Hood 4 Hollywood, Salvador Gabor. This is a post from his old blog he started back in 04(That's right, 04, we started this black blogging shit lol), The Salvador Gabor Project. But unfortunately like Salvador has seem to do Too Hood he abandoned his blog about 2 years ago!! He let the blog go too early so I am going to bless you guys that never had a chance to read his work with a few posts!! Hopefully this will motivate him to start postin on Too Hood again *hint hint*

14 Mistakes Women Make When Having Sex with Men

1. Assuming he wants to be kissed. Baby if we just met in the bar and now we are in the alley, best believe there is no kissing.
2. Not giving the panties on or panties off option. Pulling them to the side can be just as erotic.
3. Playing Jaws around the submarine. There is no need to bob around p-p if you aint fittin' ucksay.
4. Running straight from the toilet and trying to set the mood. You best carry that arse to the shower.
5. Acting like you don't want to do it, but mainly running your mouth.
6. Answering your phone during and/or after undressing. You know you can talk with your mouth full, hookers can't even do it.
7. Thinking queefing is cute, granted we men might be laughing on the inside, but dont you think it is cute because it aint.
8. Trying to sneak a fart in between queefs. "It was so good I didn't want to stop." aint a good enough reason.
9. Asking for a warning when you know you are going to put in work on the microphone. If you down there past 12minutts, get a bib.
10. Balls are not extras not even supporting actors, if they aint bothering you, dont bother them.
11. Stop complaining about the noise level because your friend is in the other room. You brought her, either bring her in here, or send her to the car.
12. Releasing a queef all the way, just let it ease out in spurts. We didn't come over there for the Whoopie-Cushion Monologues.
13. Looking for Romance after 3am. You called me after you left the club, and lock that bottom lock when you leave.
14. Looking at me while you are sassifying your oral fixation. This is where I pull my shirt out, enjoy that foggy cotton will ya.